Why Smoking While Driving Shouldn’t Become Illegal in Minnesota

Lately there have been several proposals to make it illegal for anyone to smoke while driving a motorized vehicle in my state. The justification is that when people smoke while driving, they take their eyes off the road to light a cigarette, put one out, or use the ashtray. Admittedly, any of the above actions are a distraction, but many smokers have taught themselves to perform these tasks without looking away.

What concerns me is that merely targeting those who smoke while driving is being shortsighted. What about all the drivers who sip while they’re driving? Whether it involves knocking back a swig of water from a bottle, pop from a can, or revolving a tall cup to find the little hole in order to guzzle coffee, don’t these actions require taking one’s eyes off the road, too?

Some drivers munch on a burger, or even open a packet of ketchup and pour it on their fries while they’re operating a vehicle, and have you ever seen anyone put on lipstick without looking in their rearview mirror? Almost everyone leans over to find a button on the radio. Isn’t that just as distracting? Then there’s looking away to find the wiper blades, watching the electric window to see how far you’ve lowered it, jotting a note on a notepad, or trying to find directions on a map, and I needn’t mention the use of cell phones.

Face it, we’ve become a multi-tasking society, and we’re twitchy. It’s become our human nature not just to drive, but to accomplish some unrelated task at the same time. By doing so, we feel we are saving time, or using our time judiciously.

I know we drivers are supposed to keep our hands on the steering wheel in the 10 and 2 o’clock positions, but I’ve learned to be wary of drivers who steadfastly clutch the wheel with both hands. Usually they’re the ones who are so under the influence, they have to in order to control their cars, or they’re so leery of being in traffic, they drive 20 miles an hour—even on the freeway.

I guess the only way we’re going to make drivers keep their hands on the wheel at all times is to affix Velcro straps on the steering wheel and make it a law that these straps must be wrapped around our wrists whenever we’re driving. Auto makers will have to install a device that will stop our cars from running if we’re not wearing them. As for our straying eyes, well…

Before we single out those who smoke while driving, and make them a scapegoat, we must peer deep within ourselves, at our own driving habits. It’s so easy to judge others and ignore our own human nature.

Humans vs. Nature in the city of St. Paul

About a month ago, my husband and I were driving along a quiet residential street in the middle of the city, just a block west of busy Snelling Ave., when we saw a small hawk on the ground, in the middle of the street, grasping a starling in its talons. As our car drew closer, the hawk took off and accidentally dropped the starling. We were sure the starling was dead, but to our amazement it seemed to gather its wits, then also flew away.

I was thrilled that we had saved the smaller bird's life, but my husband pointed out that by doing so, we had stolen what could have been a vital meal for the hawk. (It was frigid outside then.) And besides, he added, it was only a starling.

Now I'm in a quandary. Obviously I want hawks to survive. I'm thrilled whenever I see any raptor, and find it even more incredible when I see one in such a populated area, let alone so close to home. Yet I love the cheerful babble of starlings, despite their reputation. And mainly, they're both living beings.

So should I instead have been rooting for the hawk? I know we interrupted nature from taking its course, but I'd have been devastated if we had run over either of them. That’s my human nature.

Then again, if I'd been watching this in the wild on the Discovery Channel, instead of on the city cement right in front of me, it's possible I would have reacted differently. So apparently it was the location that elicited my reaction.

Now my brain is still in a turmoil. Please, could I get some feedback from you?

Is the Grass Truly Greener On the Other Side?

It's usually stressful where I work. My co-workers and I generally have to rush through each of our jobs to finish them as quickly as possible, or within a limited time frame, because following them there will be another job that has to be done just as quickly. We seldom talk to each other, because that could detract from our concentration, or slow us down.

Directly across the street from us is a cozy little coffee shop. During business hours (not necessarily during lunch time), I can see the customers inside—relaxed, chatting, sipping their brew and enjoying life—and I’m envious, wishing I could be among them.

Then reality hits: Maybe those people would rather be where I am. Maybe they’ve been laid off and can’t find work elsewhere. Maybe they’re not physically fit enough to hold a job, or mentally capable. Maybe they have a job but have to work nights or weekends.

Even if they do have a job, maybe they don’t like what they’re doing (I do!), or there’s no challenge or personal satisfaction.

And then there’s the owner of the coffee shop. Is he watching our constant bustle of activity, our customers flowing in and out, our delivery truck being loaded with completed jobs? Is he looking at us with envy?

Bearing this in mind, I know I’m fortunate to be on my side, for the grass is green. Yet deep down, even when things aren’t so hectic here, I sometimes can’t help wishing I could be laughing and chatting in that coffee shop with the other customers, even if it may be a façade.

I wonder… is this an inevitable part of everyone’s human nature, or mostly mine?

A Tale for the Birds

One of my favorite pastimes this time of year is going into my front and back yards and immersing myself in the sounds, sights and scents of nature; not only watching my plants grow, but thrilling over the wildlife that, while passing over, lights down and uses my yards as a resting place, knowing it’s a safe and fulfilling haven. Our city lot isn’t big, but it’s more than enough for them.

The problem is, I haven’t been able to go into my back yard as freely as usual lately. I have to look out the windows first, because I hang my various bird feeders there, and now it's become a nursery for the birds! All sorts of parents are feeding their fledglings there, and I don’t want to scare them away.

Sometimes I’ll see a little Downy Woodpecker feeding its baby Downy on my suet holder. The parent will take a nip of suet, then stuff it into the wide open mouth of its child, which is clinging onto the holder at the same time.

Other times I’ll see two Common Grackles on my mixed seed feeder, both the exact same size, but while one will have the characteristic iridescent feathers, the other will be all dusky, and it will keep opening its beak wide, while squawking and flapping its wings. Then the glossy one will nab a seed and stuff it into the wing-flapping one's mouth. I've also seen Cardinals feeding their babies there.

Recently, I put cooked macaroni and cheese on the ground because I know Robins love it. Sure enough, I saw a parent Robin grab a piece and shove it into its baby's open beak. Again, the baby was the same size, but it hadn't gotten its orange breast feathers yet.

And then there are the House Finches and Chickadees feeding their babies at my safflower seed feeder. Who knows what I’ll see next?

Talk about having a piece of heaven... My garden has become a haven for butterflies, dragonflies and other wildlife, and rising above the flowers are my bird feeders. And now I'm watching the next generation of birds that will soon be feeding there on their own.

Anyone who doesn't dig in the dirt or just pull weeds doesn't know what they're missing. The best stress-relieving balm in the world is right at our feet...and a bit above us, if we also feed the birds.

I’m inviting you to go to my brand new article that describes how you, too, can attract birds to your yard. It includes which seeds attract which birds and which only feed on the ground, which birds love suet, what hummingbirds and orioles revel over, some birds that only eat insects, other ways you can attract birds, and more.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/34074/how_to_attract_birds

Also, if you’d like some information about attracting butterflies, I have an article at http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/32344/how_to_attract_butterflies

If you read them and like what I’ve written, I’d so appreciate it if you’d rate them at the top by clicking on one of the options from 1-5. (But for sure, please don’t click on either the “thumbs up” OR “thumbs down” at the bottom by the comments, because either way actually deletes points from my overall rating.)

Meanwhile, from my home and heart to yours, I’m truly wishing you the joy and serenity I’ve found through my yard.

To quote Henry David Thoreau, “I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately; to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.”

The Need to Feel Needed

Babies need to have a parent laugh and clap at their antics. School-aged children need to have a parent praise their accomplishments, and feel dejected if that parent doesn’t attend when they have a chance to display their talent to the public. After their children leave home, parents need to learn to readjust their lives.

A wife-to-be needs her father, or someone who truly cares, to accompany her down the aisle. When a couple gets their first child, they want their parents to be proud of them. In turn, their parents need both their childrens’ love and praise, and their own parents’ love and praise.

As we grow older, knowing that you’re loved, or that someone cares about you, isn’t necessarily enough, and that need to feel needed—and appreciated for what you do—increases. After he retired, my father-in-law routinely set the table for the breakfast he and his wife would be eating the next day—on the night before. I once asked him, “Why don’t you wait until tomorrow to do that?” He looked at me sadly and replied, “What else is there to do?” Somehow, I knew he was implying that doing this simple act made him feel needed.

Sometimes close friends can fill the gap, or grandchildren, or an adored pet; perhaps a good job or volunteer work. But not always. When my grandmother was lying in a hospice with terminal cancer, perfectly lucid and understanding her condition, she asked me why she couldn’t just join her husband, who had passed on several years earlier. She added, “Nobody needs me anymore.”
Indeed, the need to feel needed could be one of the most driving forces in human nature. I think in some way we bloggers have our own version of that need. To fulfill it, we reach out to others, knowing they will grasp our hands. We may not truly “need” each other, but life sure wouldn’t be the same without that rapport.

Please, if you have the time, go visit our fellow blogger Zareba, a woman truly full of soul, over at Journey Into Being. She’s in the hospital recovering—her heart and lungs had shut down in mid-April, and now there’s a new post on her site.

Also, I’d like to re-introduce Vonnie, who has revived her blog Bird Watching in South Florida, and started a new one, Reflections of a Boomer Babe, that women in particular should enjoy.

I’m not sure about you, but you—my blogger friends—have fulfilled my life. All my sincere best wishes, Darlene

Is it Foolhardy to Tenaciously Try to Reach a Goal?

I was digging an 8-inch hole in my yard the other day, so I could plant a new climbing vine, when one of those big, black beetles crawled up. I don’t know what kind they are, but I often see them tipped upside-down on the sidewalk, legs waving madly, as they try to upend themselves. Usually I take a stick and gently try to turn them right-side up, not because I like them (ugh!), but because I feel sorry for them. I do get them on their feet, but as soon as I move the stick, they flop over again. Then I have to gently push them into the grass—but even there they’re quite ungainly.

This beetle was getting too close to where I was digging, so I shoved it away. It came back. I lifted it up on the end of my scooper and placed it by some leaves further away. Then I went inside to get some water. When I returned, I didn’t see it, so I dug some more. Then I stuck a ruler in the hole to see if I had dug deep enough, peeked in, and lo and behold, there was my beetle, at the very bottom!

Reaching in with my digger, I gently tried to scoop up the beetle—no luck. I got it on the tip of the digger and painstakingly edged it up while rubbing the tip against the side of the hole, and the beetle helped by trying to scramble up. Success! I got the beetle out; again put it aside. The beetle chugged away, so I resumed digging. No sooner did I look away than, sure enough, it was back in the hole, on the very bottom. I did the same thing over again, but this time I put the beetle on the other side of the yard. Then, admittedly a bit paranoid, I kept glancing up to make sure it wasn’t trying to return.

What I can’t understand is the tenaciousness of that beetle. Why did it keep coming back to where I was digging? And after I got it out of the hole the first time, it had to have seen my digger going in and out, so why did it go inside?

In some ways, the roots of plants are just as tenaciously foolhardy. They grow freely, blindly groping their way through the soil and sending out offshoots, until they come up against a barrier and have no more room to spread. But they keep trying, until they entangle each other so thoroughly, they and the plant they’re attached to die.

I sometimes wonder if mankind is just as foolish, although we’ve learned from experience that persistence can pay off. We can, at times, if we try hard enough, overcome the barriers we hit and reach our goals, but we also usually realize when being tenacious can be foolhardy. Perhaps it’s a matter of human nature vs. instinct.

Any thoughts?

Preoccupation, Rudeness, or Just Don’t Care?/LIFE IS PRECIOUS!

The temperature is frigid, with a plummeting wind chill factor. Outside the grocery store, many shoppers are abandoning their grocery carts in the middle of the lot, instead of putting them in the outdoor storage racks. A store employee is forced to brave the cold and forge throughout the lot so he can gather all the stray carts, line them up, and push them back to the store. The moment his back is turned—his fingers numb and face red from the chill—more shoppers are leaving their carts strewn all around.

Someone is roaring along the freeway in a car with a loose muffler; it’s actually bouncing up and down. One thunk and the muffler could drop off—not necessarily a danger to the driver, but what about the cars going at 55 mph and faster right behind and alongside him?

We order food from a cashier, a waitress, anyone whose job is to “serve” us so they can make a living. We regard them as a fixture instead of another human being. In a stern voice, we demandingly say “give me” or “I need” so-and-so, without even a smile, instead of saying, “I’d like” or “could I have.”

LIFE IS PRECIOUS; the only one we’ll ever have, at least in this form, unless you’re one of those who believe in reincarnation, which I don’t. Perhaps I’m a cynicist, but I’ve lost far too many people, and pets, throughout my lifetime that I loved or cared about. I’ve had mind-boggling dreams in which I’ve reconnected with them, in some cases even found absolution, but their presence during my waking hours is definitely gone.

My point is that we should treasure the life we have on earth now, and the lives of those we care about, instead of taking them for granted. For me, this means we should at least say goodbye every time someone we care about leaves our home. This means, if you see someone and like how they look, whether it be their hair, the clothes they're wearing, or whatever, don’t be too shy to tell them, whether it’s a loved one or friend—or even if that person is a stranger you’re passing on the street. (Besides, it’ll make both of you feel good.) If you’re at a restaurant and like how attentive certain waitresses are, tell them. If you appreciate a fellow blogger for whatever reason, tell them. And for others in general--especially those who are worthy--follow the Golden Rule and “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Life is truly short, and nobody is invulnerable.